Past perfect
by Joliemoi
Summary: Lauren has left Winslow High, but where did she go? And why?
1. Default Chapter

_Disclaimer: _The characters are not mine, though sometimes I wish they were ;) Lauren, Harry, Marilyn, Milton, Marla, Steven, Daniel and Kevin are property of David E. Kelly and FOX network. I just borrowed them to play a little. Everybody else is mine, though :)

_Rating: _PG 13, just to be safe

_Category: _Lauren/Harry -angst, romance, friendship

Marilyn/Lauren -friendship

_Summary_: Lauren has left, but where did she go?

_Spoiler: _Story is set after Season 2. Season 3 never really happened in my world ;)

_Feedback is very much appreciated_: allthingsjoliemoiyahoo.de

* * *

Chapter 1

**Past perfect **

The minute she opened the door she was wide awake. All of the sleepiness she'd felt before was eradicated by the sharp November wind blowing in her face. Who needed coffee when there was an icy wind outside offering to awake you for free, she thought. While locking the door she tucked in her scarf and pulled her coat even tighter around her body to keep from freezing. Of course it wasn't working, by this time of the year the entire Boston area felt like a giant ice cube and she'd lived there long enough to know that the only thing getting you through winter were those sweet warm memories of summer and an undying faith that winter would finally succumb to spring if you just waited long enough. Lauren took a deep breath, turned around and ran to her car. Thank god there wasn't any black ice yet, she was already 5 minutes late and slippery roads would have only made matters worse for her. If she took Huntington Ave. and Belvedere instead of Interstate 93 she might just get to work in time.

* * *

The last couple of months hadn't exactly been easy on Lauren. One and a half years ago, when she'd finally ended things with Daniel and his parents had told her he was supposed to undergo psychological treatment in a closed facility she had thought it was all over and she could finally go on with her life. Which she'd done; for an entire school year she'd been doing great.

Then summer had come along, and a week prior to the holidays Steven had called her into his office. She would never forget that day, the way he had looked at her with an intensity she had never seen on him before. She'd sat down, digging her nails into her thighs as he started talking. When she'd left the office, she'd felt sick, her heart had still been racing and her palms had been sweaty. She'd been in complete shock and must have looked that way, too. Louisa had asked if she was alright, but Lauren hadn't heard her, hadn't heard anything anybody had said to her that morning. She'd held her classes without expecting anyone to raise their hands and her students had been pleasantly surprised by that and had kept quiet to not break "the spell" as they'd called it. By the 4th period word had gotten out that "something was going on with Miss Davis", so Marilyn had stopped by her classroom. Lauren had known she wouldn't be able to keep this from Marilyn, so she had told her what she'd heard from Steven that morning. Apparently three girls had dropped charges against Daniel and his psychiatric evaluation hadn't shown anything out of the ordinary, thus making him a free man once again.

"Lauren", Marilyn had muttered, "he knows where you live, where you work, he knows everything about you! What if he comes back?"

That last sentence had been hammering in Lauren's brain all morning, but she still had to come up with an answer. Marilyn had looked at her with fear and at that moment Lauren had known what she needed to do. There was only one thing she could do to be safe, so she'd told her best friend to keep quiet no matter what would happen. And Marilyn had never disappointed her.

During the following summer Lauren had moved, she'd found an apartment in a quiet neighbourhood on the outskirts of the city. Steven had helped her in finding a new job and by the time the new school year had started again Lauren had already settled in. Or so she'd thought.

The first day at Winchester High it had hit her. She'd felt lost without Marilyn, Harry and Steven and though she'd never expected it she'd actually missed Guber as well. So she would tell herself things would get better, she'd make new friends and in time she'd have forgotten about Harry and the others. _But who was she to kid herself._ Marilyn and Steven had been the only ones knowing about her leaving, and Marilyn even had her new phone number, just in case. They'd agreed on not using it except for emergency situations, but those hadn't occurred yet. Besides, it'd been too dangerous. If Daniel had actually wanted to get to Lauren, chances were he would keep an eye on her old friends, hoping they might eventually lead him to her. Lauren had insisted on not telling Harry anything at all for that particular reason, she'd been sure Daniel would try Harry first. It had broken her heart to leave them all behind, to leave without saying goodbye, but she'd known it was for her own protection and that was what she'd held onto. It was the right thing to do.

Two months into the first term Lauren's dreams about Harry had started to subside. She had used to dream about him almost every night, obviously a product of the underlying guilt and regrets she'd felt towards him. But by the end of October those dreams had decreased and Lauren had taken that as a good sign. Maybe things were finally getting better.

* * *

Lauren entered the front building with the first ringing of the bell. Her classroom was at street level, so she'd made it to her desk by the time the second ringing was over.

"That was close", she sighed.

During lunch break she chatted with Melissa, a science teacher who had transferred to Winchester from New York. She was about Lauren's age and since both women were new on the faculty they'd quickly become friends. Melissa was ranting about the parents of one her students who blamed her for their son's bad grades.

"You know, Lauren", she said, "if only they took one look at their precious little son before coming here blaming me, they would see that he's been smoking pot for the last few weeks. No wonder he's passing out in my class and what am I to do about it? I can't keep him awake for the life of me and sending him to Eric's office isn't helping either. So of course his grades dropped, but it sure isn't my fault!" She rolled her eyes."But it's always us, we're the ones getting flamed."

Lauren looked at her with compassion. "You can't let these things get to you, Melissa. I know it isn't easy, but we can't let that beat us!"

"Yeah, you're right, I know, but still…", Melissa sighed.

"Lauren!"

Both women turned towards the door of the teacher's lounge. Michael Andrews was just entering the room.

"Lauren, hey, can you do me a favour, please?" he asked her.

Lauren and Melissa exchanged glances. Melissa knew about Lauren and Michael's past, Lauren had told her they'd been dating in college and that their relationship had ended on bad terms.

When Lauren had met Michael on her first day at Winchester, she'd momentarily thought she was dreaming. Not in a good way, it had actually felt like her nightmare was never going to end. Trading the boy who'd stalked her against the boy who had cheated on her repeatedly hadn't felt like the nice trade it should have been. Of course the boy in question had become a man now, much like she'd grown into a woman as well. But seeing Michael had degraded her to the hurt little girl she'd felt like in college. Michael on the other hand had seemed to be pleasantly surprised to see her. He'd shown her around Winchester High, introduced her to the other teachers, let her in on some of the latest gossip and always referred to her as his "old friend from college". Not that Lauren had been remotely interested in listening to him reciting something that somebody who knew somebody had said about somebody else. She'd had her fair share of gossip at Winslow High and hearing about her new colleagues' "secrets" hadn't exactly been on her list that first day. Plus Michael being overly friendly, pretending nothing had happened between them 10 years ago wasn't helping either. But Lauren had brushed it all off and tried to focus on making a good impression. When she'd left college she had been determined not to let Michael ruin another day of her life ever again, and she would stick to that now. The following days she'd made it a point to avoid him whenever possible, and once Melissa and she'd become friends she'd let her in on what had happened and the two women had quickly teamed up against him. Not that they would badmouth him or anything, they would use more subtle ways to keep Lauren from being dragged into conversations with Michael. Melissa would come up with excuses, like she had a problem with her computer, parents and whatnot whenever he would sit down next to Lauren. And since Michael was a man he wouldn't see Melissa interrupting them as a hint that he wasn't welcome, all he ever did was wondering why he'd been working with Lauren for over two months without having gotten the chance to really talk to her.

Now that he was asking Lauren for a favour, Melissa quickly stood up, turning to Lauren.

"Remember you wanted to help me with that, uh, stuff we talked about yesterday? I really think we should do that now, there's only 10 minutes left till we gotta be back in class!"

"Oh, yeah, sure. Let's go", Lauren answered, smiling apologetically at Michael. "Maybe later, all right?" she told him and with that she was out the door.

He shook his head in disbelief and sat down at the table where Lauren had sat only seconds ago. "Women" he muttered pouring himself some coffee.

When Lauren left work that day she felt numb. It had been a rough day and she was still thinking about Michael. She felt bad for simply avoiding him instead of telling him to leave her alone. She'd always considered herself to be an honest person, but with him it was different. It had taken a long time to get over Michael and even longer for her to finally be able to trust another man again. She had used to feel so much hatred and disgust for him and all she had ever wanted was to leave that behind. Now that she had to face him again she simply couldn't bring herself to stand up to him. She preferred hiding to confronting. Actually she wasn't hiding, she thought, she was just _avoiding_. Lauren refused to consider herself afraid of him and _avoiding_ sounded much better to her. She reached her car, got in and started the engine. She would have to go to the mall to pick out something for her father's birthday on Saturday, and although she already felt the beginning of a major headache creeping up in the back of her neck, she knew there was no way out. It was Thursday and if she didn't go there today, she would have to go tomorrow and traffic on a Friday afternoon would be horrible.

Surprisingly the mall wasn't as crowded as Lauren had anticipated. She quickly found a parking space close to the front entrance, something she really appreciated during this time of the year. Once inside she unbuttoned her coat, loosend her scarf and was just about to turn right when she suddenly realized she didn't even know where the men's department was. She actually had to take a look at one of the giant information signs that were located at each of the entrances. She knew most of the womens' clothing shops fairly well, yet having never been in any of the mens' somehow depressed her. Or was it rather the lack of necessity that made her sad. Lauren wasn't someone who took pity on oneself, but more than a year had passed since her last relationship had ended and she really missed having someone in her life. Someone her age and with a sane mind would be nice, but that was about all she was asking for by now. Melissa had tried to introduce her to some of her sister's friends, but Lauren had dreaded to go on blind dates. So when Melissa had asked her to accompany her to her sister's engagement party, it had seemed like the perfect way to meet someone. Two days before the party, though, Lauren had come down with the flu and it had taken almost two full weeks for her to fully recover. She'd seen that as a sign that none of those guys had been meant for her anyways and put her faith in destiny. She would never admit it to anyone, but deep down inside she still harboured the little girl's idea of destiny bringing along the perfect man, although "perfect" had since been replaced by "halfway decent and mentally stable. Right now she had more important things to think about, though. She needed to find a nice dressy shirt for her dad and and he wasn't easy to buy cloths for. She'd already decided on something blue, dark blue if possible, but the sheer variety of fabrics and brands was kind of intimidating.

"Lauren?"

She looked up from the shirt rack.

"Harry" she gasped, "Oh my God! What… how…. " then she paused.

Her mind had just gone completely blank. They both stood looking at each other in disbelief and although it was just a few seconds before Harry replied it felt like a lifetime passing by. She had spent countless hours imagining what she would say if she ever met him again and she had even come up with a few cheesy lines, but now that Harry was actually standing right in front of her, she couldn't remember them.

"Haven't seen you in a while" he went on, "so how are you?"

"I**…** I am**…** I'm fine**…**.I was just**…**I'm looking for a shirt for my dad's birthday."

She looked down, feeling all of the guilt she had so carefully buried inside herself rise up. She didn't want to cry, not here, not in front of him, but Lauren felt her eyes grow wet. She blinked, forcing back the tears, and finally looked up again. Harry was still there.

"You want some help?" he asked. And from somewhere far away she heard herself say yes.

They had managed to pick out the shirt without actually talking and after Lauren had paid, they went outside.

"Thanks again, you did save me a lot of time" she said, "you know how I am when it comes to cloths. I can never decide what to buy."

"Yeah, I think I remember" Harry replied deadpan.

Gee, that had come out all wrong, why did she have to bring up their past. And suddenly she froze.

"Lauren, what's wrong?"

"I**…** I need to go**….** I will**…** I'll see you, okay?"

She turned around and started to make her way back to the parking lot. How could she forget, how could she not think about the obvious? If Harry was here, who was to say Daniel didn't follow him? Lauren felt chills running down her spine. How could she have been so stupid to be with Harry for that long? She looked at her watch. 7.30pm, that meant she'd spent about twenty minutes in that store, twenty minutes with Harry that might as well cost her life. How could she have possibly allowed herself to risk everything she had worked on for the last four months. He'd caught her off guard and she hadn't been prepared. But Lauren needed to be careful, she couldn't just take her chances and throw everything away. While rushing back to the front entrance and upbraiding herself for such utter stupidity Lauren never forgot to check the store windows to see if she was being followed. But she couldn't make out anything unusual, Daniel was nowhere to be seen so eventually she tried to take a few deep breaths while taking out her car keys. You'll be okay, she tried to tell herself, but it didn't help. Her pulse was still racing and she kept having flashbacks of Daniel breaking into her old apartment. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder.

_End of chapter 1_


	2. Chapter 2 The importance of closure

_Disclaimer: _The characters are not mine, though sometimes I wish they were ;) Lauren, Harry, Marilyn, Milton, Marla, Steven, Daniel and Kevin are property of David E. Kelly and FOX network. I just borrowed them to play a little. Everybody else is mine, though :)

_Rating: _PG 13, just to be safe

_Category: _Lauren/Harry -angst, romance, friendship

Marilyn/Lauren -friendship

_Summary_: Lauren has left, but where did she go?

_Spoiler: _Story is set after Season 2. Season 3 never really happened in my world ;)

_Feedback is very much appreciated_: allthingsjoliemoiyahoo.de

Chapter 2

The Importance of closure

Harry felt her entire body stiffen under his touch.

"Lauren, I can't do this" he said, "I need to know! At the very least I think you owe me an explanation!"

He let his hand drop from her shoulder waiting for her to turn around and face him. When Lauren finally did turn around the look on her face made Harry shudder. She looked as if she had just seen a ghost. Was she scared? If so then what the hell was she afraid of? She couldn't possibly be afraid of him now, could she?

"Lauren?" Harry gently asked her again, "What's wrong?"

Her mouth opened, then closed again without her having said a word.

Harry wasn't easily scared by anything or anyone, he'd had his fair share of dangerous encounters ranging from assaults by students to being threatened by gangs when he himself had been a teenager living with his father. They'd never had a whole lot of money and thus lived in an area of Philadelphia which would not likely appear on a tourist map. But nobody had ever scared him as much as Lauren did right now. He wanted to hold her, protect her from whatever she was afraid of and this sudden urge to comfort her scared Harry even more. He thought he'd had successfully overcome these feelings. Besides, her lack of movement had somehow been passed on to him. They stood there in unison, neither one of them moving so much as a twitch. Harry couldn't say how long they were standing like that, for he was completely and utterly lost in Lauren's big blue eyes. He was trying to find some answers, something he could work with, but all he could see was her fear and confusion.

Finally Lauren opened her mouth again. Harry tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever she was about to tell him. He was half expecting her to scream at him, yet all he heard her say was "Let's go somewhere quiet! Somewhere we can talk" and with that she grabbed him by the arm and led him into the small bar on their right.

They sat down at a table in the back of the room. Harry was still confused about what this was all about, why Lauren acted this way was beyond his imagination. He noticed her taking the seat at the wall and the way she was watching the bar's entrance……It was extraordinarily dark inside and he had a gut feeling she had deliberately chosen this particular seating arrangement for that very reason.

"Harry," she began, "I know you expect me to apologize, but I won't. I can't. All I can do is try to explain it and I hope you'll respect my reasons. I also need you to promise you'll leave it at that. We won't be able to see each other again. I need you to respect that as well."

Harry looked at her in disbelief. He hadn't understood a word Lauren had just said. What the hell was wrong? He felt like he was trapped in some sick episode of the x files, or some other creepy show like that where a lot of times people would have to disappear for fear of being exposed to whatever they had to hide from. And Lauren just about sounded exactly like those TV characters. This had to be a dream, or rather a nightmare, it was all a little too surreal. But if it was real, what was the big secret, what was the reason for Lauren's intense fear? Harry wanted answers, he needed them, but how in the world could Lauren expect him to promise his reaction to answers that he didn't know yet. This was getting stranger by the second and feeling himself becoming more and more irritated he tried taking a deep breath before replying. Lauren didn't look like she could take one of his infamous outbursts right now and he didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was. He knew what she had to tell him would be vital for him to put at least some of his demons to rest. Though Harry was good in bottling up his feelings, ignoring them whenever they would threaten to resurface, he was well aware that he needed closure. And if Lauren was to give him at least some, then so be it. He was ready.

Two hours later Harry was still sitting at the same table, in the same dark corner, staring at the same spot. Instead of Lauren's face, though, all that was left to stare at now was the wall. The candle that had been burning during most of their talk had burned down a while ago, leaving Harry to sit quitely in the darkness.

Lauren had left about an hour ago, though Harry wouldn't be able to say for sure. He was still trying to cope with what he had learned tonight. All this time he had been thinking it had been about him, he had blamed Lauren for keeping up the distance between them and had ultimately come to the conclusion that she hadn't just quit her job, but she had also quit on him. She had abandoned him and whatever the hell it was that had still been between them.

Now he had to learn that leaving Winslow High had never been her decision in the first place. She had been forced to do it. Daniel hadn't given her a choice. Thinking about Daniel made Harry incredibly angry. He had always hated that little prick and when he had threatened Lauren, Harry had been grateful for finally having an actual reason for all that hatred. But now just the thought of Daniel made him physically sick. He clenched his fists, feeling the great need to blast the crap out of something. Preferably Daniel.

"Would you like anything else, sir?"

Harry turned his head in the direction the unfamiliar voice had come from. The waiter was standing next to him, looking at him with a mixture of worry and underlying urgency

"How long have I been sitting here?" Harry asked him.

The waiter gave him a weird look, glanced down at his watch and back up at Harry. "Sir, your friend left about 45 minutes ago."

"Oh," Harry mumbled, "I'd like the cheque then, please."

"Sir, you only had a glass of water and that's for free." The waiter really grew impatient now.

_Good grief, _Harry thought, _pull yourself together. You can't lose your mind over this Lauren thing._ "I'm sorry," he apologized, "I'm gonna leave now. Thanks for the water anyway." He gupled down the remaining liquid, grabbed his jacket and left.

Once outside, he inhaled deeply. This just wasn't his day. He wondered where Lauren had gone. Probably home, wherever that was now. Harry prayed to God that Daniel hadn't followed either of them.


	3. Chapter 3 Conclusion

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, though sometimes I wish they were ;) Lauren, Harry, Marilyn, Milton, Marla, Steven, Daniel and Kevin are property of David E. Kelly and FOX network. I just borrowed them to play a little. Everybody else is mine, though :)

Rating: PG 13, just to be safe

Category: Lauren/Harry -angst, romance, friendship

Marilyn/Lauren -friendship

Summary: Lauren has left, but where did she go?

Spoiler: Story is set after Season 2. Season 3 never really happened in my world ;)

Feedback is very much appreciated: allthingsjoliemoiyahoo.de

* * *

Chapter 3- Conclusion

**Lauren awakened to the sounds of thunder and rain heaving outside**. She had left her bedroom window slightly ajar last night, thus making it impossible to sleep through the storm. She glanced at her watch. 2.32 a.m. Closing her eyes once again Lauren tried to block out the noise by clutching the pillow to her head. She pressed it onto her ears, hoping the added pressure would help shield her from the sensory overload. But she had no such luck. Frustrated she threw the pillow on the floor next to the bed, pushed the blanket down with her feet, then lay still for another moment, enjoying the cool breeze that came wafting through the window. Her body felt hot, almost sweaty and the fresh air gave her goosebumps all over. It had been unusually hot for the past few weeks and the storm already brought some much needed relief.

Finally she dragged herself out of bed and walked over to the window. The rain was pouring down from the darkened sky, and must have been for the last couple hours, causing the sewers to overflow. Lauren let out a heavy sigh; for the first time she was glad she'd had to park up on the hillside, for the cars parked outside her apartment already stood halfway up to their tires in water and it didn't look like the rain would stop anytime soon. Leaning up against the window frame she took a deep breath, inhaling the cool air and enjoying the scent of rain that it carried. She loved the smell of rain on a spring night, she always had. When she was young she would sneak out of the house at night, after her parents had gone to bed. Tiptoeing to the back door, deliberately avoiding the planks that she knew would squeak. Once outside, she would pause for a moment, leaning back up against the wall and inhaling the breeze. It had always felt exhilarating to her, the musky scent of grass and rain mixed with the sweet smell of early spring filling her lungs, running through her system and revitalizing every inch of her body after the long winter season had used to give her chills. And even now, 20 years later, the familiar scent evoke those same feelings inside of her. She took another deep breath before finally closing the window and making her way back to the bed.

Lauren had almost reached the bed when the phone rang. She jumped at the sound, her sudden movement causing the small nightlight to fall over. She hastily put it back up, switching it on in the process. The added light gave her a sense of security while she hurried out into the hallway to answer the phone. _Who called her in the middle of the night anywa_y.. she mentally fussed for she really was not in the mood to deal with anyone right now. All she wanted were a few more hours of sleep before having to go back to work in the morning. And she really didn't want to have to think about work, lately she had been feeling more stressed out than ever before. And she couldn't even say why, Michael had left her alone after she'd finally gotten the stamina to outright tell him to leave her the hell alone.

She slightly smiled at the memory of the look on his face during that little conversation. She had never done that before, telling someone to leave her alone, especially not _the hell _alone. But with Michael that little extra word had been needed in order for the information to really sink into his brain. And it had worked which was all Lauren had cared for.

So Michael wasn't causing her any problems anymore, and neither were her students for that matter. At least not to the degree of her worrying about anyone or anything in particular. She just couldn't seem to figure out what the source of her most recent distress could be.

Still lost in thought Lauren finally reached the phone and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" she asked, hoping the person on the other end would turn out to have dialed the wrong number, leaving her free to hop into bed again.

"Lauren? Is that you?" a female voice asked.

"Yeah, who is there?" Lauren answered, trying to figure out why that voice sounded so strangely familiar to her.

"Lauren, it's me, Marylin."

"Oh my god, wha…" Lauren gasped, desperately trying to grab hold on something for she felt her knees go weak from the adrenaline rush of hearing Marylin's voice for the first time in almost a year.

"Lauren, I know it's out of the blue, but have you watched the news tonight?"

"Wha.., no, why?" she managed to say before her knees gave in and she ploped down right there on the floor.

"Daniel. He got shot. By a cop. Tonight. Lauren, turn on the tv, it's all over the news!" Marylin hastily replied.

Lauren felt another rush of adrenaline flowing through her body at the mere mention of Daniel's name. Her blood was pumping so hard in her ears thus making it impossible to listen to Marylin's words. Daniel, that sick little bastard. He had caused her enough heartache, more restless days and sleepless nights than she cared to remember ……….her mind trailed off as those painful memories came rushing back, invading her mind like cancer would invade one's body. A dark stranger who takes up residence, turning it's new home against itself. That was the evil of cancer, that it would start as an invader, but soon become one with the invadend, forcing you to destroy it, but only at the risk of destroying yourself. And she had tried to destroy them, time and time again. But those memories just wouldn't die, they wouldn't let go of her, wouldn't let her live. Over time they had very much become a part of her, a part she'd kept well hidden, but that was still with her wherever she went. She had wondered numerous times wether she'd ever be able to get rid of them, free herself from those restraints that kept holding her back. She was afraid that she would break, that she would indeed destroy herself along with all those pent-up emotions.

"Lauren? You're still there?" Marylin's soft voice broke the silence, pulling Lauren out of the dark side of her mind that she had just begun to dwell on.

"Yeah, I……….I'm here. I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said, could you…"

"Which part did you not hear?" Marylin asked, wondering what was going on.

"Everything you said after _Daniel_ ," Lauren replied, again shaking as the words rolled off her tongue. God, how she despised that name.

"Oh, well, you should really turn on the TV. See for yourself. But Lauren, he got shot, as I said. By a cop. On channel 4 they said he was trying to break into someone's apartment when the cops just happened to be around. Apparently they walked in on him and he just lost it. They said he'd had a gun and he'd tried to shoot, but one of the cops was faster. He's in the hospital right now, but they said it didn't look too good. He might not make it."

Lauren had entered the living room and reached the TV by the time Marylin finished. She quickly turned it on just in time to see split images of a crime scene, cops everywhere and an ambulance rushing away. It was breaking news on all the local network stations, channel 4 had even called in their lead news anchor to cover the story.

It was almost 3 in the morning, but Lauren had never felt more alert in her life.

* * *

**The warm breeze caught her long blonde hair, lifting it off her shoulders. **With her wavy locks blowing in the wind she looked like she had just stepped out of a fairy tale. Harry couldn't take his eyes off of her as she was walking toward them in her black pants and a fitted blue blouse that showed off her figure perfectly. She looked so groomed and beautiful, just like the Lauren he remembered from the old days, not the one he'd briefly met at the mall five months ago. That one had frightened him to death. But watching her now, she seemed incredibly relaxed, like a huge weight had been lifted from her. Which was exactly the point of their meeting, he quickly reminded himself, feeling an unfamiliar warmth tingle inside his stomach. He tried to remain calm, hating himself for feeling so fucking pathetic. It was just Lauren, after all. _Yeah, right_, he thought, _just Lauren._

_Lauren had been eagerly awaiting this very day for the past three weeks._ Ever since that call from Marylin things hadn't been the same for her. Daniel had indeed died as a result of his injuries that very morning. Lauren had called in sick at work after spending the rest of the night glued to the TV screen. Marylin and she had talked for almost four hours straight, both watching the news and at the same time catching up on what had been going on in their lives over the past year.

It was then that Lauren had first learned about Marylin's transfer to Lindsey High last November. Marla had started working there right after summer and when Steven had gotten fired over some stupid school board issue, Marylin had quickly decided to hand in a letter of resignation herself and follow Marla to LH. Lauren had been startled to hear about all of this when Marylin had dropped an even bigger bomb. Ronnie had been killed in a car accident the previous summer. Naturally Harry hadn't taken her death well, first taking a leave of absence and evntually dropping out of teaching altogether. So basically none of her former friends was working at Winslow High anymore, which in a way had made Lauren feel a little less guilty. In her mind she wasn't the only one who'd run away anymore.

She had visited the hospital that very morning. Daniel had been on life support, his face and chest covered with tubes and electrodes that were monitoring his vitals. He'd looked so fragile in that bed, his face calm and relaxed like an innocent little child sleeping peacefully. Lauren had spent the better part of an hour just watching him from behind the glass windows, trying to make sense of everything that had happened. She hadn't want him to die, she had always wished they could have worked things out without anybody getting hurt. But seeing him in that bed, kept alive only by machines, she had been thankful to finally get her life back. She'd said a silent prayer for him, though, not wanting Daniel to feel any pain and wishing that wherever he might go, he'd be safe. When she'd opened her eyes again, the heart rate monitor had blinked frantically. Two nurses had rushed into his room, followed by a doctor. They'd tried to bring him back, but it'd been too late. Daniel had already slipped away.

Marylin had accompanied Lauren to the funeral and spent the night at her apartment. That night they'd made plans for meeting up with their old friends. Lauren had been dying to get together with Harry, Marla and the others, after all they had been a huge part of her life for several years. Marylin had promised her to arrange everything. She'd kept in touch with Kevin after he and Milton had left, plus she was still working with Marla, which had left Lauren with only one thing to do. Calling Harry.

* * *

_When she reached Harry he greeted her with a warm smile_. They both contemplated what to do next, but Lauren was the first to opt for a hug. Harry gladly returned the gesture, wrapping his arms tightly around her and inhaling her sweet scent. 

"Milton and Kevin went on ahead to get our table," Harry said when they'd let go, "but we're still waiting for Marylin. Marla will be here shortly, she said she'd have to work late today."

Lauren's lips curled up in a smile. Harry was cute when he was nervous and she had known him long enough to pick up on his nervous banter. She already knew about Marla, Marylin had told her about it yesterday. But she didn't mind hearing it again, especially not when it was coming from a cute and panting Harry. She looked at him a little more closely, noticing his hair had grown out a little. It made him look younger, overall his features were softer, more relaxed. Maybe dropping out of teaching did have a positive effect on him after all.

Before she could say anything else she heard Marylin's voice behind her.

"Lauren, Harry, how are you two? Am I late?" She gave both of them a tight hug, shooting Lauren a meaningful look over Harry's shoulder.

"Come on, you guys, I'm starving. Let's go inside!" Lauren said trying to figure out what that look was all about. It couldn't mean what she thought it did, could it? She and Marylin had known each other for so long and they used to be extremely close, as in look-me-in-the-eyes-and-I'll-tell-you-what-you're-thinking close, but maybe the time they'd spent apart had changed things.

The smell of grilled fish lingered in the air, welcoming them once they got inside. Lauren was glad she had suggested this place, she loved seafood and the restaurant was right by the harbor, only a few minutes from her apartment.

When Harry spotted Kevin and Milton, he grabbed her hand and maneuvered the two of them through the crowd. The place was packed and Lauren was quite thankful to have Harry to hold on to. Marylin followed them, all the while carrying the biggest smile Lauren had ever seen on her. _What in the world…_she thought, turning her head back into the direction Harry was pulling her. She would have to have serious girl talk with Marylin once they got the chance to be alone.

_

* * *

Seeing all of them again was great._ Lauren had missed each and every one of them dearly and was delighted to hear that Milton and Lisa were still together. Kevin was dating a woman he'd met in the supermarket of all places and he seemed to be quite content with the way things were going. The biggest surprise though was when Marla announced she was going out with Steven. Even Marylin hadn't known about it. 

"Marla, I can't believe you haven't told me before!" She actually sounded a bit hurt.

"I was saving it for a special occasion," Marla laughed, patting Marylin's shoulder, "nothing personal, honey."

_Honey_…Lauren cocked an eyebrow at the intimate expression, _they must have really gotten close_. She couldn't believe she actually felt a fit of jealousy. _Get over it, _she mentally chastised herself, trying to swallow down the lump that had formed in her throat.

"Well," Kevin interrupted her thoughts, "Let's make a toast! To old friends, old lovers and new ones…"he chuckled, oblivious to any possible implications his choice of words might have.

"Kevin," Marylin slapped his arm, "stop it!"

"All right, all right, to old friends and new friends, then. That better? We'll just skip the love part and get right down to the sex."

They all laughed. Lauren tried to recall the last time they all had spent an evening together but couldn't remember. It had been too long, that was for sure. She looked at Marylin and caught another meaningful look. _What?_ she mouthed, making a mental note to ask her about all of these little insinuations later on. She was tired of trying to figure out what her best friend wanted to tell her. Besides, if it was about what she thought it was, Lauren would rather choose not to waste anymore thoughts on that for she had already contemplated that particular thing for the last couple of weeks. She hadn't actually come to any conclusions except that some things were better left in the past. If she could just tell her heart to let go, things would be a hell of a lot easier.

Harry was unusually quiet, gazing at her from time to time. Lauren wondered what was going on but too occupied talking to Marla and Kevin to concentrate on him.

* * *

_The cool damp air enveloped them once they stepped outside._ It was chilly and Lauren shuddered a little from the breeze that came wafting from the water. 

"You want my jacket?" Harry quickly offered.

"No thanks, I'll be fine. It's just that is was so hot inside and I need a little time to get adjusted. I actually brought a sweater, I think that'll do just fine."

She pulled the blue cloth out of her purse and smiled at Harry. He acted so unsure of himself, almost like a boy trying not to say anything stupid. It really was unusual for him to be this way, especially around her. But then again, they hadn't seen each other in a long time and a lot of things had happened since last June. She flinched when she thought of Ronnie's death. She had never liked her much, but she knew Harry had. All night they had avoided the topic of their old school, afraid it might somehow lead to Ronnie. Lauren had sensed his discomfort whenever their conversation would touch the subject of teaching in general and she had wondered what he would have done if anyone would have actually mentioned Ronnie.

"Did you walk here all the way from your apartment?" Harry inquired.

"Yeah, it's just two blocks away, actually. I'll be fine," she answered, not wanting him to think she couldn't take care of herself. Although the thought of walking home alone at this late hour didn't exactly thrill her much. This was the city, after all.

"Lauren, I just got you back, if you think I'll let you walk all by yourself now you're mistaken!" His voice was firm but Lauren could sense the hidden affection.

"Thanks, Harry," she gave in, "I really appreciate this."

They walked in silence all the way back to her building. When they reached the staircase in front of the entrance, Lauren turned to Harry.

"You know, I……I've been wanting to tell you something, but I….." her voice trailed off. "I just, I was waiting for the right moment and it's just that I didn't, you know, it just never felt right." The last part came out almost inaudibly.

Harry just watched her, not giving away any of the emotions that were raging inside of him. When she didn't say anything else he reached out, cupped her face with his hands and softly asked: "Lauren? What did you want to tell me?"

His sudden touch felt soft and sincere. Paralyzing. Blood coursed through her body in hot waves. She looked at him intently, his dark eyes penetrating her soul and making her shiver all over again. Lauren knew what she wanted to say, she just wasn't sure if she could get the words out without starting to cry. And she really didn't want to lose it right there out on the streets with Harry watching. She could cry her heart out once she got inside, once she was alone. _Stop being such a baby_, she mentally chastised herself, _just say it and get it over with._

Swallowing the lump that had begun to form in her throat she continued: "Harry, when you said you'd just got me back, I…..I just want you to know that I don't ever wanna lose you again, either. I need you, I need you to be a part of my life and I don't ever wanna live without you again." Lauren lowered her eyes and unable to contain her feelings any longer she felt a hot tear streaming down her cheek.

Harry tilted her chin up until her eyes locked with his. "Lauren," he said under his breath, "don't say anything else. Just let me do this right once and for all." His eyes were still focused on hers and she felt her knees go weak when he began to lower his lips to hers.

_Not every story had a happy ending_, she thought smiling,_ but maybe their's would have, after all._

**THE END**


End file.
